I've been wanting to change my blog for some time.... among other things.... been fixing it up a bit... and hopefully will continue to do so, as well as writing in it a lot more. I've also figured I'm better off just getting rid of my deviantart page, or at least the art there... despite some attention I had gotten for Kirby madness..... I just really don't feel like going into depth in any explanations right now. My body and mind are not cooperating. Other than that fact I'm not too sure how I am feeling..... Inadequate may be right, or at least the best word I have available.

I feel a bit medicated as well, but that's because heavy pain killer is the only way for me to get through times like now. So... being medicated, tired and dizzy is the alternative to being in unbelievable pain and incapacitated.

So what is there to say... I just wanted to write in journal more often. I would say everyday, but knowing how I've been about keeping journals, maybe that's unrealistic. Doesn't mean I can't set the goal, though.

This year is... I don't know... crazy?

Pardon me, but "fucked up" seems about right... So I've just been trying to get through each day. This month in particular has been interesting to say the least. At least I've gotten time with my best friend this year, and continue to learn and grow in my relationship with my twinflame.

Emotionally I've had a really hard time this month, but hopefully all those issues are being left behind... I still can't be too sure at the moment if I'm entirely okay.... but.... I should at least be feeling a little better about things in a few days......... otherwise... I don't know.... I've passed time getting videogame music remixes (at least I've found really fun things this month), playing old games, and DOS games... especially today. I played Oregon trail a while. Princess Maker 2 is a funny game too. Old stuff can be fun to dig through.

Um. I don't feel like I have anything very great to say today.... or much to say, for that matter.... I don't have the intense focus or patience I otherwise should..... So...I guess that's it....since I'm too zoned..

..Well...... My lover, since you're the one reading this, I just want you to know how much you mean to me. You've always been special to me and inflamed my passions, there's no way anything else could complete me, my life, or mean more to me. I want to be more honest, about everything, and just work on improving our relationship all the time. I want everything to be for our highest good.... to just grow with infinite love.... I still don't feel like I'm open enough, or even can be sometimes... but I'm striving to be all I can, for you...... for us. I need us to be more trusting, open, honest and loving... You're my everything, I love who you are, and I love you forever... no matter what. So we have to love ourselves too... for the sake of helping each other grow, with love.

Never doubt the power of our love and never give up.

::.Nuzzle.::