Welcome to my Blog
I am on a spiritual quest for healing
And to find my freedom from fear and self-induced limitations


Self Induced Limitations = Limited Growth
And I will not accept unnecessary limitations anymore.

I created this site because I needed to do a lot of serious spiritual venting.
For once, I am going to refuse to dislike myself.
I am also going to be honest with my thoughts and feelings.
If no one else, I must be honest with myself.
And above all, I must love myself.


I am a female. At least in this one physical life. And it doesn't really matter anyway.
The age of my current body has nothing to do with who I am, either.
Since I was a small child, I have had to endure many physical and emotional difficulties.
These include dysmorphophobia, chronic depression, chronic fatigue, low blood sugar and more.
I have experienced more trauma, abuse and loneliness in this life than my family may ever know.
I have undergone much emotional, spiritual, and intellectual bondage and abuse.
Not to mention that this has had incredibly negative impacts on my physical health as well.
And how did I live through the fact that my hardships were viewed as non-existent...
And that unrealistic expectations were constantly placed upon me.
I was raised into poverty, and am still struggling to get out of it.
Ultimately, I have also been rendered emotionally broken and socially dysfunctional.
But I have also survived. Changes shall manifest.


I am much stronger than people realize.


Epiphany #1: One particular organized religion has been the main cause of my life's tragedies.
Epiphany#2: Religion was a good idea, but just one of many concepts that has been warped and abused by humans.
Epiphany #3: Mormonism is a vicious pattern that has created misery and toxic relationships in my life, as well as others.
Epiphany #4: My mother loves me despite perpetual patterns of abuse. It's all she knows.


At the core, we are all lightworkers of goodness and love.
I am continually developing and healing, just as every soul is designed to do.
Although I am spiritually depressed and homesick much of the time, I also know I am not alone in this world.
It is time for human beings to evolve, and to move into a new age of peace, healing and love.

And it is also time for me to openly express myself!
My thoughts and emotions should be shared, not oppressed, and not repressed.
I do not intend to oppress nor offend anyone.
After all, diversity is a blessing, and needs to be accepted.
Diversity allows us to learn, and see things from many different angles and perspectives.
And the ability to truly listen, is far more important than the ability to agree.


Religion, spirituality, and morals, are all very separate things.
My intentions are solely in favor of open-mindedness, knowledge, spiritual growth and love.
And refusal to think freely and independently is disrespectful to yourself.
One should wield intellectual and free thought as a natural characteristic. Because it is.
What organized religion has taught me,
is that it religion is against real wisdom and freedom,
since its purpose is to control and abuse others.
To obey authority without question has too much room for oppression and abuse.
Without questioning, there is no learning. And without learning, there is no growth.
And where is the reflection of love; the core energy of which we are made?


I pray for the badly needed reform of this violent world.
I must express that there are loving alternatives to authoritarian organizations and religions,
and these alternatives can be more spiritually fulfilling and enjoyable than they may ever know.


We, as human beings, are not in the dark ages anymore.
So let us evolve and reflect that fact.


In Love and Peace,
~Mistress Taelle~






Welcome to Spiritual Freedom



Hi.

I am known as Taelle, or Mistress.

         If you don't already know me, then this site probably isn't for you. This is one of my journals, also known as a blog. I initially created this site because I want to be totally honest with myself and revive the good habit of keeping a journal. I want to be free to express myself, spiritually and otherwise.
         So here I am, and here it is:  My blog of Spiritual Freedom.




Things About Me

Evidently I am indigo and crystal soul. I am a very evolved and seasoned soul who often feels homesick, since Earth is not my true home. In relation to the earth angel realms I am many things. I consider myself a wolf, sorceress, elemental, angel, mermaid and starsoul. I am romantic and sensual. I am secretive, mysterious, more than shy of socializing but playful and creative. I am extremely sensitive... I have a residual anger towards humans but I will show them understanding and compassion anyway... even when they don't return it.

I have found my twin flame and I will always love him and be with him.

I love animals. I love wolves, kitties, dragons, dragonflies, unicorns, butterflies, and many other creatures. I love art, creativity, affection, fun and laughter. I love nature, rain and thunderstorms. I love water, and swimming. I am interested in astrology, astronomy, spirituality, oracle cards and various methods of divination. I love technology and magic. I love music. I also enjoy movies and games, especially computers and videogames. I love books and stories, and hope to finish writing my own. I love dreams and am largely fascinated by them... I love daydreams, fantasy, science fiction, and satire. I love learning.

I love kirbies!



I don't endorse religion.
But I don't condemn those who do.
I simply believe in Spirituality,
Open-mindedness and Integrity,
Freedom of Expression,
Understanding and Acceptance,
And most of all, LOVE.

Love is of the greatest importance,
In the entire universe.
And I would unravel and die
Before my soul ever believes otherwise.




I love my family.
I love my twin flame.
I love my best friend,
who is also my family.
I always strive to love others,
Whether I know them or not.
And even those who hate me,
I cannot hate them back,
Because hate constricts growth.
And love can heal anything.

This love is unconditional.
Despite confusion and conflicts.
And so, I must also accept myself,
And try to love myself,
No matter what.
Love is all that truly matters.

And our world is immensely suffering from such lack of its use.
Ego is NOT an appropriate
substitute for Love.
Ego keeps us from being able to truly love ourselves and others.
Ego creates un-love, which will only create more aspects of un-love.
Ego keeps change from happening.
Ego endorses fear, ignorance, hate and greed.
The policy of "every man for himself" does not work.
People are still hurting each other.
Stop listening to the Ego!

So let's stop waiting.
Everyone needs and deserves Love.
Let's create Love!

The new age is now.






~ I Love You! ~



Feel free to leave comments,
Or messages on the tagboard
Which is located further down.
You can also send email to
iviandara@aim.com

Or instant message me

at Aim:  The Taelle
or
at Yahoo:  cylon_toox

If you are nice, or neutral,
then I won't bite.
However, please do not contact me if you intend to utilize insults, or otherwise have low opinion of me.

Due to note:

I am not a spawn of Satan
I am not misguided
I am wrong or going to hell
I am not stupid
I am not naive
And I am not inferior,
nor superior,
to anyone else.

I am simply on my own path.
This is the way things are.

So please don't be ignorant.
I respect others as individuals.
And I would appreciate the same.
Please be conscientious,
as I too am a soul in need of love.

Otherwise...
Stop wasting your time with my blog.

Thank you.




~ Let's Be Free ~




If confused by the tagboard:

The bottom field is where your nickname or alias goes. The field above that is where you write your message, in order to add it to the existing messages in the largest field. The http:// field is optional, but it's there if you want to contribute an external link. Press the Submit button when you're done.

Have fun?




My iMood:  Read My Feelings
My Lover's iMood:  Read His Feelings
Best Friend's iMood:  Read Her Feelings


   


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The section below, is at least somewhat an expression of who I am.
These are my thoughts on some of the things I believe and don't believe.
I am not preaching "right or wrongs" to anyone.
These are my personal opinions
as everyone is entitled to their own.
So please don't get defensive,
though I can't help it if you read it and are offended.


I Believe -

-  In an obligation to Relax and have Fun.
-  That laughter is a lighthearted necessity.
-  That an uninhibited sense of humor is a refreshing form of enjoyment.
-  That spontaneity is also very refreshing and enjoyable.
-  That refusing to question authority is being disrespectful to yourself and your integrity.
-  That love is real and beautiful.
-  That human beings should love others as well as themselves.
-  That everyone is worthy of love.
-  That, with love, all things can grow.
-  That love knows no bounds.
-  That to view all things and situations with love, is a healing and peaceful way of life.
-  That there is nothing wrong with making mistakes, as long as you are learning from them.
-  That learning, in its various forms, is important, just as knowledge is power.
-  That the "sub-conscious" is just another word for our soul.
-  That, through this "sub-conscious", we can have access to endless knowledge, forgotten memories and other hidden power.
-  That all living beings have souls... With the exception of the little earthly automatons, cells, bacteria, and etc.
-  That earthly (or non-earthly) automatons, including insects, are living things of the earth that deserve respect, although they are not individual spirits.
-  That when we refuse to acknowledge our feelings, use our minds and utilize intellect, we "humans" aren't acting any better than mindless drones. I'm sorry but it just reflects the behavior of a termite colony... Or a Zerg colony. ("LIVE FOR THE SWARM!")
-  That humans are animals too. We are equal to other forms of life, not superior.
-  That reincarnation exists, and that "past lives", "next lives" and "pre existences" have the same meaning.
-  That reincarnation is about choice, and NEVER about punishment.
-  That reincarnation has various purposes, including, but not limited to, spiritual growth, enjoyment and learning.
-  We signed up for what we got... Every single time.
-  That reincarnation is not limited to the human existence, as there are other forms of "intelligent life", and they are just as significant as we are.
-  That Soul Mates exist; in that the actual definition of Soul Mates is, "Living Souls with whom we may have shared various pre-mortal and/or past-life experiences, and have previously agreed to meet once again."
-  That there are many types of Soul Mates.
-  That anyone, even relatives, or seeming "enemies", can be a type of Soul Mate to you.
-  That Soul Mates are here to assist us in our own personal life's journey, and to help heal situations (both past and present), whether we consciously realize it or not.
-  That man created "god" in the image of himself, and not the other way around.
-  That angels exist, as they are simply spirits, but those which resonate of pure love, because that is the energy of what god is.
-  That every living person has at least two guardian angels (or other spirit guides), who are always available to call upon for support.
-  That many guides and angels have been with me throughout my entire life, and that I am never alone.
-  That, because of the divine laws of Free Will, we are in control of our own destiny, and that is also why it is important to pray, and to give "permission" for our guides to "interfere" with our lives and give us assistance.
-  That magic exists, because it is of the same definition as prayer, and any other higher powers that can create miracles through manifestation.
-  That we can pray to call upon blessings, for our needs and desires to manifest.
-  That, for blessings and manifestations to work properly, at least some small degree of belief is required. As long as there is belief and good intent, prayer can work for anyone.
-  That, in order to receive those blessings, we must allow them to happen, and to accept them graciously, without endorsing feelings of guilt or unworthiness.
-  That anyone and anything we encounter is giving us a chance learn something.
-  That everyone has the hidden potential to unlock the secrets of claivoyance and to utilize psychic abilities.
-  That, although there have been many fraudulent practices, lies, and abuse in the subject of psychic power, there are also valid Clairvoyants and Psychic people, throughout history.
-  That true Psychics, far more often than not, are truly very warm and loving people who desire to help others. They just have to make a living for themselves, too.
-  That divination and psychic abilities exist, and are not limited to predicting the future, but can give profound insight to any situation, as well as revealing hidden knowledge about the past, present, and oneself.
-  That the world is entering a new phase right now, not necessarily ending. We are beginning a new age, vibrations are changing, and change is necessary and even inevitable. Besides, there is truly no such thing as an ending without a new beginning.
-  That our subconscious self (our souls) are ALREADY develloped, and all-knowing. We, as physical-based beings, simply struggle to tap into different levels consciousness.
-  That we, our true soul forms, were made as a part of, and are one with, the ultimate divine source (God, Spirit, or whatever you want to call it). We are not separate, and we are not inferior, nor superior.



I Don't Believe -

-  In the Bible, or any other "scriptures" or "gospels" of this world. They are written and changed by men. I cannot appreciate it when anyone takes the Bible seriously or literally. It is an untruthful, oppressive book of man, and it is not of God. However, that doesn't mean that we can't learn from it.
-  In authoritarian Religion. Some people tend to find comfort in it, but I have also seen how much pain and problems it can cause. It's mainly just there to control and manipulate.
-  In the practice of blind obedience.
-  That Satan exists. (Unless he is a crazy mushroom! Lol, not really.)
-  That killing, infliction of pain, or any acts of hate or violence, have EVER been endorsed by GOD. (Don't you remember the commandment, "Thou shalt not kill"?)
-  That God could ever represent or personify anything that is contradictory of pure Love and Acceptance.
-  That God would ever give us orders, especially through the word of man and his writing, and expect us to obey without question.
-  That God could practice or endorse punishment, or ANY form of force at all.
-  That discrimination against a person or living being is EVER justified. Differences should be embraced, not attacked!
-  That there is any such thing as a "superior" gender, race, religion, or otherwise.
-  That the traditional view of "Hell" could EVER exist. But I do believe, that sometimes there is hell in mortality, particularly when humans attempt to judge and punish each other. Yet in the afterlife, there is only "Hell" if we feel that we deserve to be judged and punished as well, and therefore we "condemn" ourselves by inflicting self-torture. But this ends when we realize that everyone deserves love and happiness... Including ourselves!





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Sunday, November 16, 2008
When is it over?

It definitely looks like the worst is NOT over, nor can I have any way of knowing when it will be. And until then I am left waiting, feeling alone and hopeless. Note that most things I say in this entry are probably just emotion and not logical, and may not necessarily be long-term,  because I am being utterly overwhelmed by emotions right now. But I would never be able to turn off my sensitivities no matter how much I want to. So right now, feeling IS fact for me. There is no getting around this.

I still don't write in my blog as I keep saying I will or should, because I don't know how to explain anything I am feeling or going through. I especially don't know how I'm supposed to do that when it's something that is utterly miserable. And even if I could explain it with words, I don't feel that anyone could possibly begin to understand it, or even want to hear it either. I'm only here now because I feel so depressed and alone, that I can't just let it build up without some kind of venting, other than the crying I have to do as usual. Also if I can't feel loved or get real help somehow then it can only get worse. And then it just feels like anything good that I've ever felt or done, has been ruined.

It seems like I'm left to mourn the past forever, even though there's not a lot there that's worth looking at. Unfortunately it still looks a lot happier to me than the way I've been feeling these past two years. I can't go back, but I can't have my dreams of a better future anymore either, because this is life and reality has smashed down my dreams. But that doesn't mean I accept it, and that is why I seem to be stuck. I can't have the things I want, but I can't accept the horrible misery of reality either. The things I want most of all especailly, just can't happen, at least not in the physical world. In my life particularly happiness just seems like an unnattainable thing, and no matter how hard I try, I can't make myself be happy, and I can't pretend that I am.

I didn't come to this life for my own enjoyment either. But with that knowledge I just don't feel like I have the strength to live or see how I'm supposed to accomplish what I set out to do. I'm an old soul and could be in spiritual retirement right now, I'm too worn out for this, yet here I am, so I've only been doing my best, while waiting for my life to improve, because it's all I can do. I can't do anything about it, I've only been waiting for my situation to somehow get better even though it only seems to go backwards sometimes. And I can only hope to god that my dreams aren't just completely out of reach. I have to have some tiny amount of hope to cling to at least, but at times like now it feels impossible. Anything that ever made me feel any happiness is just in the past and only that. All I'm left with now is pain or numbness. That is why I am mourning the past forever.

Once my heart found joy in a dream of romance. That dream was broken by harsh reality and changes suddenly forcing things ahead. But I cannot be truly happy without that dream to live in. My heart breaks and I do not know what will happen.

Romance is not one-sided, so I cannot have it if my twin flame is not ready to have it either or does not understand what I need.

This is too much for me. I can't even take care of myself with all of my overwhelming sensitivities, but I have to... and alone.... but there's no way I can handle the energies of being around someone else, or dealing with feeling what they feel, even if it's something trivial. If I had to be born an empath, why couldn't my lover be one? Or at least could I just please be a Carpathian? At least that way I wouldn't be alone...

Love is there but happiness is nowhere.

..If we weren't ready to be in a twin flame relationship then we wouldn't have met.... But how much longer do I have to wait like this? I can't just wait as it feels like everything is getting worse... I feel miserable and alone, and I have no power over my situation..... It makes me want to rip my own heart out, since I already feel like I'm being sacraficed. I can't feel loved this way either.... I only feel like a burden and that anything I say or do will just make everyone else miserable too. So I have to be alone in suffering.

I am only trying to be honest. I do not know what else I can say or what I could possibly ask of anyone, or how to make anyone understand my feelings, or even any aspect of me. I only wish I weren't alive right now because I hurt too much. I feel utterly alone, more alone than anyone knows.

All I can do is wait.

~My heart cries for Ravendeth~


Signed, Taelle Oreseth
Posted in freedom and honesty. Sunday, November 16, 2008 at 07:33 pm.

Please comment.

Dethy
November 16, 2008   11:45 PM PST
 
Where there is love, there will always be hope....Your love gets through to me much more than you know. What is learned at this point cannot be undone by any amount of emotions. Our loneliness is only momentary, nothing, not even the entire world will get in the way of our love.

I want you to read my new blog entry. If it isn't working, I have a saved copy. I love you, I always have, and I always will..... We will be happy...If not in this life, then we'll make our own life, of love.....
   

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